In the last month, I have not been sleeping well at all. With everything that has been going on, it has been a little tough. This last weekend, I thought I had been catching up. Then I woke up this morning feeling like I never wanted to leave my bed, I have been up for 2 hours and I am still foggy. My coffee is helping a bit, getting a few tasks done has helped, but the fog lingers.
My wife is awesome, this morning she heard me complaining, “I just can’t convince myself to wake up” twice this morning, then finally told me to go turn off the fan. She knew I would just keep sleeping, but that I needed to get up so I could get some stuff done early this morning (before the emails and phone calls). Somehow, I managed to get up, turn off the fan and then persuaded my momentum into the shower.
See, Friday night I was feeling pretty good. I put the ground work together for a new project that I have been planning with some friends and was thinking that everything was good to go for Monday. Between trying to help out with chores, plans that we already had this weekend, and trying to work on that project in between, I was feeling great. I got pretty far through everything I had to do this weekend.
Then Sunday night came. I looked up from the weekend while I talked with Tony, and something wasn’t as far along as we thought. Until about 11:30pm I was on Skype trying to work on it, pushing our dev a little further towards getting it done, making sure it was on the right server. Then I bowed out, in favor of going to bed and getting up “early”. Tony said, “I’ll take the night shift”. Perfect, I’m pretty tired, so this should be no problem. I put my computer away and take a little self-inventory and immediately realize that going to bed immediately will not work out so well, so I crash the couch and turn on some Scrubs on Netflix.
Three episodes later, I am finally wound down enough to be able to go to bed, so I stumble sleepily up the stairs and fall into bed. I very rudely wake Melissa to ask her to help me get up in the morning when the alarm goes off, and then I roll over to sleep.
This has been a pretty typical thing for me the last couple weeks, the wanting to sleep but knowing it won’t happen. I’m not sure if it is the caffeine earlier in the day (I do try to stop drinking it around dinner time) or the anxiety of whats coming the next day, or something else. I can tell you that most of the time, despite its importance, I feel like sleep is generally a waste of time. I could be doing stuff instead of sleeping. But, then when I wake up the next morning I realize how important it is, because the fog gets thicker and thicker everyday and I start falling asleep sitting up or sleep-typing, which never works out.
Please consider donating Dogecoin if you like my content.