When I first got into Social Media it was a free for all.
Q: How many people could I add to every profile?
A: ALL the people!! How else can you get to the top of twitter grader?
So, I very meticulously added everyone until my fingers hurt, my arms felt like I was getting carpel tunnel, or I hit limitations. Seriously, I figured out that all you had to do to get past 2000 friends on twitter was keep the friends and followers number within 10% of eachother. So, I found some tool that would unfollow people who didn’t follow me back. It was so easy!
I accepted every friend request on Facebook and started adding every suggested friend. I even had a real friend who I’ve actually known for years ask me:
Why are you friends with all these people from my highschool class?
This was the beginning of the end for me. Really it was, because I started to ask myself
Why the hell AM I adding all these people? What’s the purpose?
Well, I knew the answer. It was because so many article and “gurus” said that this was the way to do it. Increase your audience and your audience will increase from there. Really what they were saying was:
Add all the people, pray they read what you’re putting out there and share it.
This was great for a while because I didn’t give a shit about broadcasting. What I realized though, was that there were people who were happily going about their lives and really getting a feel for a very specific group of people and what they were up to. Some people call these “Friends”, using the original definition.
It made me realize that what I was doing sucked and that I wanted to keep things more personal. I couldn’t keep up with the people I cared about because they were drowned out by the people I didn’t give one shit about. Also, I really didn’t want everyone on the planet knowing everything about what I was doing. I only wanted to push that to the people I like!
The answer? Drop them all. Yes, all of them.
With Twitter, I unfollowed everyone and only followed back the names of people I could remember off the top of my head. This was fun, because it helped me to realize who I enjoyed talking to and who I wanted to hear from more. Let the stalking begin!
With Facebook, I went through my friends list and unfollowed everyone who I couldn’t recognize either their picture or their name. This was a bit more subjective, because there were some people I recognized and didn’t want to see anything from anymore. It wasn’t personal, that’s the problem.
Foursquare made it easy, with their little “x” button that shows up when you hover. I unfollowed everyone in less than 10 minutes. That was great. Here, I really didn’t want to broadcast to all those people where I was. So I stopped.
Now, I have made a couple mistakes in un-friending/un-following. That’ll happen. So, if you feel slighted and want me to reconnect just hit me up on one of those mediums. If I ignore your request, you’ll know what’s up. If I accept you, you’ll know more than what’s up because I post a lot.
If it’s personal, it hurts more and it feels better all at the same time. I want to get to know people better and I am working through my little subset of the world.
Friends…real friends… what a concept.
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